go now and live

Jeanette LeBlanc 

keep shinning

Day in, day out you're consumed. By work-him-lattes-her-it-they-you-nothing. I assume it's a sign of movement/productivity. But then, somehow, the pause button is pressed and everything is still. Well, more like a halt from your exhausting dream-chasing-race. Your heavy breaths and swollen bones whisper, listen...take it in.


You reluctantly obey and notice the people and things that call your name no longer reflect the same light. Truth is, neither do you. You see, somehow you got off their wavelength and now they want a ride on yours. your light has range and intensity. Slightly overwhelming but that's not your fault.

With clarity you see that you are alone; with the exception of 3. Maybe 4. True bonds are based on understanding, not emotions or offerings. The capacity to understand your inner complexities, goals and stupidities.

I see you, you see me, we understand the groove. Let's shine.


Note: mad love for those who take the time to enlighten.


Light Graffiti

Long Gone...

I've been awfully consumed with new elements in my life. Some may call me self-absorbed. If you define it by ambitious & reluctant not to exhaust the slightest opportunity, in which case I'm the poster child for self absorbency. Waiting for my check.

The only thing that makes me anxious is being absorbed by the establishment. The thought of having boundaries inundates me with helplessness. People often are defined by what they do, but to define one self in this light is a sign of a fractured self image. Confined to a title or ruled by an imposed paradigm would vanish any imagination, and then I would have no more self to absorb-how boring. So maybe I'm over indulging in my surroundings, and not in myself; I need to go beyond the norm to delight in all the possibilities my world will continue to grant me.

Sorry if any alienation occurs, I can't slow down, not even for you- (exception to the rule)

PS: see you if you get there.

Always within a never

I looked in the mirror just now, and realized that facial expressions have started to contour my face. No wrinkles yet, I got my daily tonic-scrub-hydration-sun block-and more moisture-ritual perfected. But I can see time. Who said time was intangible?

 My girl not long ago told me about the cycles of 7; every seven years you transition into a different cycle, and I'm finishing the forth. It makes sense, and I'm happy. I'm happy because I know most of me. I recognize what I cherish and appreciate, and what I don't like and won't tolerate-finally (deep sigh). I realize that I still have much to learn-constant undertaking-but I am accumlating stories I will one day share with a new love.

But what makes me really happy is that I finally have consciousness of commitment and determination. I mean, despite how hard shit gets, there is nothing I can't do-always within a never. Call me corny, whatevs, but I think you have the power to invoke anything. You just got to believe it yours. Good vibes at all all times.  

The determination is always the basis of all significance, of all tension, of all tendencies- Antonio Negri

My talented friend shot me the other day

My girl Allison is a stelar makeup artist 

Note: I realize the photo is dramatic but this is my blog.

And Cut

Recently, I woke up and I realized that rubbish-define as you may- is so passé. Words, actions, and energies that don't affirm positivity no longer fit with my style. Granted, ugly stuff happens, but you need contrast to see beauty. I get it. But I lost patience not for ugly things but for negatively charged things. 

I also realized that I dislike drama-it pinches the mouth of my stomach- so why am I sometimes a supporting actress in ridiculous scenes? I feel cheesy doing it. Maybe I was a better actor before, stupidly able to play the role. But new lights changed the stage and now I direct the acts. Still reaching for the globe but I switched genres, from drama/horror to action. 

I want. I decide. Finally, I commit.

Lucas Samaras

I remember visions of myself as grand and pristine. The further I look back, the larger the dream, but with time my expectations got jaded. I fell short, lost focus and doubted my faculties. There are moments and eyes that make you shift and weaken your balance. Beliefs are tested and vagueness reigns. Your wants become distant and clouded desires.

Then, after an uncomfortable look within, you refuse to be part of the vulgar many. Not motivated by pretensions but by the conviction that the mind is the greatest weapon. You stop preoccupying your mind with futile thoughts and begin to occupy your hands and body with complete actions. Its time.

Oh, the places I'll go...

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
-Dr. Seus

There are people, places and patterns you encounter in life that are catalyst for change. They say your 20's is a time for self-discovery and change, I agree.

My trip to NYC has been nothing short of amazing. Being here resulted in a shift in my state of mind. Perhaps I sound like the rest of the world when they say New York has that "je ne sais quoi" that makes you MOVE.

Its true. Many factors push you to act quick and go: the sea of cars, waves of people, the homeless chasing after you or the homeboy yelling "yo shorty" three blocks down Fashion Ave. But there is also an energy so strong you can't help but abid and adapt to its fast yet fluid force.

Colors everywhere: on walls, cars, people, streets and all of a sudden in you. A tension pulls you towards the place you want to be. I found that spot and I'm going.

Where are you going?

Let Loose

Billy Nasty & Lucidhouse part 2 from lucidhouse on Vimeo.

I am not a fan of people constantly trying to be too real. I understand being true to you, but then there are those who are so one-dimensional it makes me want to cry. Real life vs. fantasy; why does there have to be such a distinct separation. Why can't it mesh?

It seems to be hard for some to incorporate a mix into their lives. Speaking to someone who is completely opposed/closed to this possibility (or should I say reality) is evident. They tend to be boring and a tad pessimistic. Unable to live with a little fantasy eliminates the opportunity for a new dialogue, a new experience, a new optical to view the world. In my experience, allowing fantasies and my imagination to splatter over this tangible world gives me new stamina.


"But it’s not real Jess?"

What makes something real? Tangibility? I say you have the ability to make a lot of things real or non-existent if you really want to. Don't invalidate something because it’s in your imagination or subconscious. Rather explore it and find a way for it to become part of your expression of being.

Note: thank you to my beautiful friend and very imaginative., Leo who always gives me a beat to let loose to.

Positively Defining

Complete conviction: a rare occurance, but when it occurs, you know. Lately, I have had about two of these feelings. One of which will not be shared until there is a confirmation, the second I will disclose.

On the weekend I went to New York with my beautiful friends. We had a blast. Obviii, its NYC. What is it about that town (loose term) that captivates you entirely? Not sure, but what I am sure of is that I got to make my way down there.

Our trip was amazing. Not only because my friends are the best and NYC is the best playground, but because it defied so many elements. Can't really get into all the elements that we transgressed; might get myself in a wheee bit of trouble (insert giggle). My girl said "I won't be able to explain to my friends about this trip. How would I start?" Oh D, so true, so true.

What can be said is the conviction of knowing who you are, what you want and how you are going to go about getting it. The three of us at one point realized the importance of invoking our passions and desires. Telling the universe what is yours and finding your entitled place amoungst this crazy place.



theme song? maybe.

Best.Trip.Ever
Xo