Want it? Ask for it

My close friend blurted to me not to long ago, "You dont get what you don't ask for."

To be completely honest this blew my mind. Perhaps because of my conditioning as a woman or as a woman conditioned by a very conservative grandmother, I always assumed that my actions and gestures would decipher my needs and wants. In turn, this would somehow translate into all channels of communication and my needs would be fulfilled. Utopian I know.

I look back and I remember this sort of charades. For example, I recall boy girl interaction as; if boy hits you this means he likes you. If girl likes boy, she would ignore him.  What was commmunicated did not match what was wanted. This sort of attitude carried  over to other sectors and stages of my life. Always masking what I truly wanted with something else, never being clear with myself or others. Had I truly grasped this simple principle, perhaps some scenarios would have played out differently.

However, what matters is what I do with this valuable principle now. Certainly I can apply it to everyday life. I need an explaniation, I ask for it. No more hoping that magically I will understand an issue thats perplexing. More importantly, I will ask myself what I want for my future. How do you (Jess) want people to remember you as? How will I develop me?

Perhaps this is something that I face alone, but it feels better to vocalize what I want, because than it will be put out into the universe, leaving me no choice but to find a way to get it.