A closet will always let out its secrets...In this case, only the good kind.
DoWestFest 2026 w/ Evan Biddell
1 month ago
31.3.10
30.3.10
Beauty's a Bitch
Beauty can be morbid. Its all about perception. Fixated on a ideal can torment your soul and existence.
I have this joke with a friend, a really bad joke, about going on a less than healthy-hazardous-diet. I must confess we laugh about it all the time, but deep down inside we kinda wish we had the will power to deprive ourselves with the goal of looking like this ideal (see model above).
Recently, someone over heard our conversation, judged us and looked at us with a serious evil eye. Now, this might be an attempt to rid myself of any guilt and condemnation but come to think of it, my obsession with an accepted notion of beauty is banal.
This is my confession, hopefully I can surpass this. Feel free to elighten me with a deeper sense of beauty. For now, I'm gonna go watch America's Next Top Model.
27.3.10
Chained to the earth
When the superficial wearies me, it wearies me so much that I need an abyss in order to rest. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943
Earth hour. Just me, a candle and my thoughts. No distractions, except my own mind (fml). Enjoying this dark and solitude hour, more than I had expected. There should be more hours like this. Forced reflection while preserving the place I barely consider.
New ritual? I think so.
23.3.10
Breath, tap your third eye & relax
Looking back, I feel like I just slapped on my neon wrist band, watched the Mickey Mouse Club and listened to Alanis Morisette. Oh where have the days gone? seriously? Time flies without any discretion and belittling everything in its way.
Trying to understand the concept of time baffels my mind. An attempt to grasp this notion gives me vertigo. I am 26, going on 27 and I feel like I haven't accomplished enough.Time is going by way too fast. Oh my, starting to panic. Lately I have been forced to think of my life. My productivity level, friends, family, love and everything in between.
Despite my anxiety, I discovered that I'm in a good place. Sure I am in the process of building my career, but its moving. I have a loving family, great friends and have made amazing new friends. So sure, I might be undergoing a stressful period. But it will pass. I have all these great loves to help me get by.
14.3.10
Dear Mamachila...
Dear mamchila,
These are some of the things I learned from you.
1. Red lips and red nails are an everyday thing.
2. Never leave the house without a pair of high heels. You never know who you might want to look at straight in the eye.
3. Fall is the best season to discover new shades; both inner and outter.
4. Before telling anyone anything about yourself, write it down. Birds eye view is best for contemplation.
5. Jewelry is better than most things.
6. A person's aroma will tell you what you need to know.
7. Love is for those who give love. Never stop loving.
Will never stop loving you.
Love, Me.
12.3.10
Lost of Meaning
A friend got her heart broken. Bad. Not "Oh, give me a week or 3 and I'll be back" type of heartache. No, no. More like "God give me strength. In fact God, steal it from someone (preferbaly him) and give it to me" type of ache. You might know what I'm refering to. Hopefully you don't.
Sadness inundates and unable to see other realms of life, all meaning is lost. We place so much meaning on one aspect of life and invalidate the rest. We compare and everything else is meaningless. What does it mean to have meaning? Is there only one type of meaning? Sorry if this sounds depressing, I mean, it is. So exhausting.
Unable to give her a potion to relieve her sorrow, I restored to the next best thing. A bar. I skipped class and now my head hurts. I dedicate this post to her, so she knows how much I love her. To all who are sad, embrace it. That way you can loose meaning of the situation sooner than later. I mean, things loose meaning when compared to other things. Know what I mean?
Note: today is a meaningless day
10.3.10
From digital to IRL
Personal brand this, personal brand that. Repeatedly I hear, "You got to BRAND yourself." So how do you brand yourself without succombing to self mutilation? Well, what you really want is a digital mark. Only to be achieved by involvment with diverse digital communities.
Really, who makes up these communities? Who's the gate keeper to all this chaos? I guess the intangible aspect of it has thrown me off (complemented by unorganized thought). That is until my fairy blog mother invited me to a #genyto event last friday.
Bottle in hand, I ventured off to this IRL experience with my partner-in-crime. Yes we were a little hesitant at first but than it was nothing but good times.
Ok, but whats the deal with this world of digital communities? Sometimes I feel like I'm in a twilight zone, living in a world concocted by a geek-wizard finally taking revenge after years of IRL bullying. Who's petrified now? *Insert evil laugh
Bottle in hand, I ventured off to this IRL experience with my partner-in-crime. Yes we were a little hesitant at first but than it was nothing but good times.
What I learned is that digital communities are as real as flesh and bones. They breathe, drink, type and drink some more, just like me. What is required is initiative to get out there and explore. They're out there and its a stelar way to meet cool peeps who share common interests. Just another way to expand your network and increase your profile.
[Actually, what I really learned is that you can see males playing with their parts in mexican wrestling masks approximately every 25 minutes. HA, you want a community try this bad boy out.]
8.3.10
Wonderland
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? "-Alice
A world of my own.... with Johnny Depp.
28.2.10
I AM CANADIAN- Wish you were here
After bitting my nails while watching the Canada-US hockey game, I went to celebrate. Sure, we Canadians are friendly, happy-go-lucky types, but today I felt the love for real.
Naked men on the streets, Molson all around, hockey playing on dundas, high fives and naked men....this was a night to remember.
GO CANADA GO!!!!!
23.2.10
Just Gotta be Me
'Develop your personal brand' was the phrase of the day. That's all I heard. Not going to lie, but for the last couple of months this subject makes me twitch. The magnitude of the digital world is perplexing and makes me sweat. How am I going to stand out? Make a digital foot print? huh?
Today at Personal Brand Camp and Third Tuesdays I got my answer: Be yourself. Thats it.
As simply put by Mitch Joel "Be real." Showcase your expertise and your passion. This will allow you to transition through life and maintain your personal brand. That made me feel zen, but then I got a real life example.
The coolest girl on the block, Cassie Stewart. Fun, energetic but most of all real. This awesome platinum-hair chick has blogged her way to her a stellar place. Naturally, as soon as I saw the platinum hair I liked her. But she has an authenticity about her that drew all the girls towards her. Thats what I call a personal brand. Be real and people will follow.
I'm excited I got a Fairy Blogg Mother.
Today at Personal Brand Camp and Third Tuesdays I got my answer: Be yourself. Thats it.
As simply put by Mitch Joel "Be real." Showcase your expertise and your passion. This will allow you to transition through life and maintain your personal brand. That made me feel zen, but then I got a real life example.
The coolest girl on the block, Cassie Stewart. Fun, energetic but most of all real. This awesome platinum-hair chick has blogged her way to her a stellar place. Naturally, as soon as I saw the platinum hair I liked her. But she has an authenticity about her that drew all the girls towards her. Thats what I call a personal brand. Be real and people will follow.
I'm excited I got a Fairy Blogg Mother.
10.2.10
Work to the Bone
If I won the lottery I would... ( transported myself to a luxurious and exotic world with endless possibilities).
BANG*
Damn... I'm back. Wait, I don't even play the lottery.
I opened my eyes and realized that my only possibility is to finish the piles of work mounted in front of me. So I carry on to do what I do best: work.
I must of inherited it from my father, a relentless workaholic. Honestly, at several points in my life I resented the numerous abscences from birthdays and family sundays. But now, I get it.
Today to my surprise, Pras from the Fugees came to speak at my school . The core of his message: work diligently, in a disciplined manner and never stop. The result, one of the best Hip-Hop albums: The Score (amoungst many other accomplishments).
By 4pm I was sitting at a coffee shop working on a upcoming project when I see a great friend/photographer. We drank blueberry tea, laughed about our trips and than we started to talk about, whatelse,WORK.
Past work, current work, potential work and more work. Before we parted he quotes Pablo Picasso, "If inspiration exists, let it come to me while I work". Anything I want, I can get. Anything I imagine, I can make a reality. Anything I desire is mine, I just can't stop working.
Jessica at work= creatively employing my passions despite any blocks
*really loud noise
BANG*
Damn... I'm back. Wait, I don't even play the lottery.
I opened my eyes and realized that my only possibility is to finish the piles of work mounted in front of me. So I carry on to do what I do best: work.
I must of inherited it from my father, a relentless workaholic. Honestly, at several points in my life I resented the numerous abscences from birthdays and family sundays. But now, I get it.
Today to my surprise, Pras from the Fugees came to speak at my school . The core of his message: work diligently, in a disciplined manner and never stop. The result, one of the best Hip-Hop albums: The Score (amoungst many other accomplishments).
By 4pm I was sitting at a coffee shop working on a upcoming project when I see a great friend/photographer. We drank blueberry tea, laughed about our trips and than we started to talk about, whatelse,WORK.
Past work, current work, potential work and more work. Before we parted he quotes Pablo Picasso, "If inspiration exists, let it come to me while I work". Anything I want, I can get. Anything I imagine, I can make a reality. Anything I desire is mine, I just can't stop working.
Jessica at work= creatively employing my passions despite any blocks
*really loud noise
6.2.10
Food for Words
There are times when only a chocolate bar, preferably Bounty or Chocolatina Jet (Colombian bar) can make all things better. These times unfortunately, are quite frequent in my agenda. I know for a fact that I am not the only one with this shortcoming, I've seen it on Oprah. In fact, I can recall watching more than one episode on Oprah about emotional eating. If Oprah says so, this is a problem.
Actually, this is a huge problem. Emotional eaters plus a hungry unregulated fast-food industry, ICKES! I went to Orlando a while back and I was astounded by the amount of food constantly thrown in your face: "Buy 1 large pizza and get 3 for FREE (plus 2 litre pop)". Dangerous? Well, have you watched Half Ton Teen? Enough said.
Just remembering all the food makes my insides turn. And than the words of Winston Churchill come to mind, "Eating words has never given me indigestion". This struck me in the core.Say good-bye to that horrible feeling after eating a greasy combo. Instead, when the urge strikes indulge in an enlightening book. Imagine if we became 'knowledge obese'?
I for one am going to substitute food for words.
WARNING: For the record I am not promoting any sort of eating disorder.
Actually, this is a huge problem. Emotional eaters plus a hungry unregulated fast-food industry, ICKES! I went to Orlando a while back and I was astounded by the amount of food constantly thrown in your face: "Buy 1 large pizza and get 3 for FREE (plus 2 litre pop)". Dangerous? Well, have you watched Half Ton Teen? Enough said.
Just remembering all the food makes my insides turn. And than the words of Winston Churchill come to mind, "Eating words has never given me indigestion". This struck me in the core.Say good-bye to that horrible feeling after eating a greasy combo. Instead, when the urge strikes indulge in an enlightening book. Imagine if we became 'knowledge obese'?
I for one am going to substitute food for words.
WARNING: For the record I am not promoting any sort of eating disorder.
1.2.10
A Bad 'Situation'
Last Saturday I stayed home, munched on plantain chips and watched T.V. To be completely honest, this is not something I do frequently, but I wanted to be entertained in a way which required no effort on my behalf. Surfing vigorously through channels I stopped at Jersey Shore (sigh). Granted I laughed but then I started to question myself and my generation. This show has officially become a pop culture phenomenon, consumed by everyone and making big profits for MTV.
Here is my issue: this show with all of its crazy characters, scenarios and jargon has been able to create memes. Disturbing enough, young minds are reproducing them and adapting them as the way or ‘the situation’ to be in. I realize that our culture is no longer dictated by conservative views, but I am slightly appalled by the glittery ability this show has shocked pop culture.
Perhaps I wouldn’t have such a problem with the show if it did not have the power to influence and inundate everything. Every channel, every show, everyone is captivated by fist-pumping, beat-dancing, hair-gel using, Guido/Guidette behaviour. Clearly all of this is subject to interpretation. I for one always thought the term Guido was derogatory. I suppose Jersey Shore’s interpretation has changed this and converted it to a complimentary term, “a good looking Italian guy.” This is the power, ideas and imagery prevailing in our entertainment. I can only hope that this does not encourage a trend of spin off shows. Fingers crossed.
Here is my issue: this show with all of its crazy characters, scenarios and jargon has been able to create memes. Disturbing enough, young minds are reproducing them and adapting them as the way or ‘the situation’ to be in. I realize that our culture is no longer dictated by conservative views, but I am slightly appalled by the glittery ability this show has shocked pop culture.
Perhaps I wouldn’t have such a problem with the show if it did not have the power to influence and inundate everything. Every channel, every show, everyone is captivated by fist-pumping, beat-dancing, hair-gel using, Guido/Guidette behaviour. Clearly all of this is subject to interpretation. I for one always thought the term Guido was derogatory. I suppose Jersey Shore’s interpretation has changed this and converted it to a complimentary term, “a good looking Italian guy.” This is the power, ideas and imagery prevailing in our entertainment. I can only hope that this does not encourage a trend of spin off shows. Fingers crossed.
27.1.10
Want it? Ask for it
My close friend blurted to me not to long ago, "You dont get what you don't ask for."
To be completely honest this blew my mind. Perhaps because of my conditioning as a woman or as a woman conditioned by a very conservative grandmother, I always assumed that my actions and gestures would decipher my needs and wants. In turn, this would somehow translate into all channels of communication and my needs would be fulfilled. Utopian I know.
I look back and I remember this sort of charades. For example, I recall boy girl interaction as; if boy hits you this means he likes you. If girl likes boy, she would ignore him. What was commmunicated did not match what was wanted. This sort of attitude carried over to other sectors and stages of my life. Always masking what I truly wanted with something else, never being clear with myself or others. Had I truly grasped this simple principle, perhaps some scenarios would have played out differently.
However, what matters is what I do with this valuable principle now. Certainly I can apply it to everyday life. I need an explaniation, I ask for it. No more hoping that magically I will understand an issue thats perplexing. More importantly, I will ask myself what I want for my future. How do you (Jess) want people to remember you as? How will I develop me?
Perhaps this is something that I face alone, but it feels better to vocalize what I want, because than it will be put out into the universe, leaving me no choice but to find a way to get it.
To be completely honest this blew my mind. Perhaps because of my conditioning as a woman or as a woman conditioned by a very conservative grandmother, I always assumed that my actions and gestures would decipher my needs and wants. In turn, this would somehow translate into all channels of communication and my needs would be fulfilled. Utopian I know.
I look back and I remember this sort of charades. For example, I recall boy girl interaction as; if boy hits you this means he likes you. If girl likes boy, she would ignore him. What was commmunicated did not match what was wanted. This sort of attitude carried over to other sectors and stages of my life. Always masking what I truly wanted with something else, never being clear with myself or others. Had I truly grasped this simple principle, perhaps some scenarios would have played out differently.
However, what matters is what I do with this valuable principle now. Certainly I can apply it to everyday life. I need an explaniation, I ask for it. No more hoping that magically I will understand an issue thats perplexing. More importantly, I will ask myself what I want for my future. How do you (Jess) want people to remember you as? How will I develop me?
Perhaps this is something that I face alone, but it feels better to vocalize what I want, because than it will be put out into the universe, leaving me no choice but to find a way to get it.
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