Jess and Thou

Balls and Bondage

2011-01-30T02:05:00.000-08:00

It's been a while. I still think about you. Things are chaotic but the rush keeps it interesting. Some say I'm consumed. Perhaps, but I'm ok with that. I've been busy, but a sense of nostalgia brings me here. to write. to tell. to vent.

I'm saying goodbye to the old me. Or is it the young me? I'm not sure. But this new me has an intense need to fly, float and be free. I was talking to a friend that at some point made my stomach turn. Today, he makes me sad - he's lost and comfortable. With no lane open for take off, he's bonded to her, the rent and to a fear of living without passion.

It takes balls to fulfill your purpose. Heavy balls and it's not always pleasant. More importantly it takes conviction and reprogramming of subconscious thought. It also requires detailed attention to what the mouth invokes. Words are so powerful; they're beautiful and scary. Speak carefully.

Sharing

2011-01-30T01:31:00.000-08:00

INFLUENCERS FULL VERSION from R+I creative on Vimeo.

Share ideas. Share passion. Share love. Gracias Di Mora for sharing.

Animal feelings

2011-01-24T20:09:00.000-08:00

a wild living room.

photo by: Di Mora

art director: yours truly

makeup: Allison Nolan

Animal Feel

2010-12-22T12:20:00.000-08:00

♥♥♥

2010-11-21T23:16:00.000-08:00

But what if you fail to love? imagine that. No love leaving me or no love in me?

I believe that would change the entire premise and love's infallibility lost. Not showing your dearests how much you love them and ignoring to hug them tightly, that perforates love causing it to run dry. Mea Culpa. Oh no, not by me.

Love is life's wire. It gives flexibility when dealing with others. Resistance to our surroundings and to all things breathing. It shapes your smile and strengthens your heart. Love what you do and it will continually produce more in you. Seek love and give love, that will build a life frame that will never fail you. Rather, it will protect and comfort you when need be. Smile, hug, kiss and act with all the love in you & it will come right back. I promise.

Love starts with you, me and we. Treat others with love, always.

Love,

Just letting you know...

2010-11-20T14:53:00.000-08:00

#girlcrush

go now and live

2010-11-14T23:06:00.000-08:00

Jeanette LeBlanc

when you enter my flight.

2010-11-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

My fingers want to type. There's no topic in mind but something is always going on; go ahead fingers, speak... Today was shit. Man what a waste of day, ugh. Only thing worse than pollution, is a toxic feeling. But the other day wasn't. The other day was good.

I fancy when something is worth visiting in thought. If I had my way, I'd go back and discreetly do a thing or three differently. I didn't because why again? Not sure. I thought about it. I assume it's due to internal conflicts.

Your face is slightly deluded, but not the message. I wish I could stop proof reading the signs and gestures. Whatever, it's a rainy Sunday afternoon, the time my girl tendencies are most intensified. I told my girl, she thinks its confusing. I am confused. My other friend thinks I'm bipolar and dumb. That too is a possibility, especially when it rains. The funny thing is there is no conviction tickling my feelings, it's just floating in a Cosmos of personal journey.

keep shinning

2010-11-04T21:55:00.000-07:00

Day in, day out you're consumed. By work-him-lattes-her-it-they-you-nothing. I assume it's a sign of movement/productivity. But then, somehow, the pause button is pressed and everything is still. Well, more like a halt from your exhausting dream-chasing-race. Your heavy breaths and swollen bones whisper, listen...take it in.

You reluctantly obey and notice the people and things that call your name no longer reflect the same light. Truth is, neither do you. You see, somehow you got off their wavelength and now they want a ride on yours. your light has range and intensity. Slightly overwhelming but that's not your fault.

With clarity you see that you are alone; with the exception of 3. Maybe 4. True bonds are based on understanding, not emotions or offerings. The capacity to understand your inner complexities, goals and stupidities.

I see you, you see me, we understand the groove. Let's shine.

Note: mad love for those who take the time to enlighten.

Light Graffiti

Running Around

2010-10-05T18:17:00.000-07:00

ROB PRUITT - PATTERN AND DEGRADATION

09/11/2010 - 10/23/2010

For Pruitt, this is the position of the artist: an unbridled human, indifferent to convention and with every avenue open to him - each possibility equal to all others.

No other way.

One Love

2010-09-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm reading this book my girl gave me. It's not part of my usual selection, but I take recommendations from those who have something valuable to say.

Granted, I initially grunted at the predictable exhortations and over zealous proclamations of female empowerment -currently asexual due to numerous disappointments with both genders-but then Madame Dr. said something.

In my words, (naturally) respect as a person able to spear a cause, is earned by being disarmed. *Funny, this contradicts the beloved bitch/prick. But then I witnessed the two states and realized being disarmed grants you strategic agility and freedom from excesses.

In love, friendship, passion, and especially in the world, be disarmed. Without the heaviness of tension you create not destroy & build not jeopardize, all while radiating poise and elegance.
One love. That's it.

Artist: James Joyce

float

2010-09-26T22:05:00.001-07:00

girl crush #2

Long Gone...

2010-09-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

I've been awfully consumed with new elements in my life. Some may call me self-absorbed. If you define it by ambitious & reluctant not to exhaust the slightest opportunity, in which case I'm the poster child for self absorbency. Waiting for my check.

The only thing that makes me anxious is being absorbed by the establishment. The thought of having boundaries inundates me with helplessness. People often are defined by what they do, but to define one self in this light is a sign of a fractured self image. Confined to a title or ruled by an imposed paradigm would vanish any imagination, and then I would have no more self to absorb-how boring. So maybe I'm over indulging in my surroundings, and not in myself; I need to go beyond the norm to delight in all the possibilities my world will continue to grant me.

Sorry if any alienation occurs, I can't slow down, not even for you- (exception to the rule)

PS: see you if you get there.

Snow

2010-09-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

NYFW SS11: Alexander Wang

NYFW SS11: ALEXANDER WANG from V Magazine on Vimeo.

makes me want to never eat again. But in a good way, naturally.

Goldie Gaga

2010-09-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

Brilliant

Shake it off

2010-09-06T21:28:00.000-07:00

There is an anaesthetic of familiarity, a sedative of ordinariness, which dulls the senses and hides the wonders of existence. For those of us not gifted in poetry, it is at least worth while from time to time making an effort to shake off the anaesthetic. What is the best way of countering the sluggish habituation brought about by our gradual crawl from babyhood? We can’t actually fly to another planet. But we can recapture that sense of having just tumbled out to life on a new world by looking at our own world in unfamiliar ways.- Richard Dawkins, Unweaving the Rainbow

Yesterday I chilled with a cool dude. A friend that exposed me to unfamiliar creatures and colours threw his eyes- bionic vision I'd say. We exchanged thoughts and he shared some of his favourites (read above). Brilliant. Basically, you can't evolve or transcend into a new or better sense of self without recognizing that your daily life needs to be tested and perceived differently. But you are the only one that can change the lens.

How many times have I done the same thing over and over again, and thought nothing beyond the conventional paradigm it inhabits. How many times have I stared into your face, everyday maybe, and not recognize the extent of your beauty. I need to see things in their purest and ever changing form, which can only mean that I too always need to change the way I view things. Through art, love, faith, and science I will see them in a way that will eliminate the numbness of my automatic perceptions. Perhaps these elements seem contradictory in nature, but as an evolved version of my ancestors I can elevate my sense of being by refusing to conform to the familiar.

cool running

2010-09-03T01:59:00.000-07:00

NO CORRAS TANTO Sand Animation from Cesarlinga on Vimeo.
Take it easy-Sand animation and Stop motion.
Directed, animated,edited..Cesar Díaz 2008/09.
3 months working without any added effects or post production. Only a Photo camera, a ligth table and sand.
César is also member of the Band.

Open for business, legit that is.

2010-09-03T01:40:00.000-07:00

Everyday presents a new challenge or maybe an old headache. A reminder of stupidity committed will creep up, leaving a bitter taste behind. How was I so stupid? Why did I do that? I don't ever want to relive that, but unfortunately ever act-like it or not- leaves proof of its existence. Ok so I've done dumb shit; who's going to throw the first stone? Exactly.

Maybe its time to celebrate-however you find fit (vodka-water, s'il vous plaît)-the small things accomplished. Lighten the mental baggage or emotional exhaustion and show the grooves on your face. I have a sweet and reFreshing friend who decided to smile despite the shit. People noticed, and are smiling back. I have another friend who thinks its stupid, and is stuck in a closed and lonely space. You see, good energies await for willing receivers. I'm open 24 hrs.

Always within a never

2010-08-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

I looked in the mirror just now, and realized that facial expressions have started to contour my face. No wrinkles yet, I got my daily tonic-scrub-hydration-sun block-and more moisture-ritual perfected. But I can see time. Who said time was intangible?

My girl not long ago told me about the cycles of 7; every seven years you transition into a different cycle, and I'm finishing the forth. It makes sense, and I'm happy. I'm happy because I know most of me. I recognize what I cherish and appreciate, and what I don't like and won't tolerate-finally (deep sigh). I realize that I still have much to learn-constant undertaking-but I am accumlating stories I will one day share with a new love.

But what makes me really happy is that I finally have consciousness of commitment and determination. I mean, despite how hard shit gets, there is nothing I can't do-always within a never. Call me corny, whatevs, but I think you have the power to invoke anything. You just got to believe it yours. Good vibes at all all times.

The determination is always the basis of all significance, of all tension, of all tendencies- Antonio Negri

My talented friend shot me the other day

My girl Allison is a stelar makeup artist

Note: I realize the photo is dramatic but this is my blog.

C.

2010-08-20T23:34:00.000-07:00

Amanda Parris

As part of the 2010 WORD! SOUND! POWAH! Festival:
"32C"
Playwright. Storyteller - amanda parris
Director. Dramaturge - d'bi young

Unveiling- Exposing- Regretting. This trinity manifested sounds like a phobia to me. A barrier that blocks love coming in, and recently, love leaving me. It's scary to get hurt, to give, and not receive.

I went to go see a play, 32C by a talented and empowering young woman, Amanda P. This powerful play, written by Parris, touched upon elements of love, revolution, baggage, roots, cycles, fulfillment, & courage. It spoke to the audience, it spoke to me. I could relate to elements in my life, and as I looked around I could see eyes glued on she. I realized that being scared of love and giving love is always for the same reason, no matter how hard you try to standardize 'no love' seasons. Fear of lacking courage. You or me, one of us could be the coward, let's just say its me.

You see, what if you don't say "I agree...take me please." But you gotta take a risk and allow your heart to be at ease. Because no matter what, you can look back and have no regrets that you gave it your all. Never half-ass, but always in three, Mind-Body-Soul given to thee.

Note: Amanda, you were incredible and that's an understatement. Very happy to have witnessed your talent and passion. Amazing.

Orbits

2010-08-17T00:50:00.000-07:00

"Soul Under the Moon" Yayoi Kusuma, 2002

Do you ever space-out? I do. All the time. Do you think or do you blank out? Do you see that person's face? Do you kiss it or punch it? Choose one. Did you record? Rewind and press play? How can I erase it? Tell me...please.

Sometimes I do stupid things, but most of the time I can never let it go. Letting go of stuff is necessary to move and hopefully grow. No baggage just breaths easing your mind. Sounds easy but my purse is really heavy, too many lipsticks.

*perception can distort authenticity. Always smile.

The Gleaming Lights of Souls

And Cut

2010-08-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

Recently, I woke up and I realized that rubbish-define as you may- is so passé. Words, actions, and energies that don't affirm positivity no longer fit with my style. Granted, ugly stuff happens, but you need contrast to see beauty. I get it. But I lost patience not for ugly things but for negatively charged things.

I also realized that I dislike drama-it pinches the mouth of my stomach- so why am I sometimes a supporting actress in ridiculous scenes? I feel cheesy doing it. Maybe I was a better actor before, stupidly able to play the role. But new lights changed the stage and now I direct the acts. Still reaching for the globe but I switched genres, from drama/horror to action.

Las Mañanitas de Chris

2010-08-05T15:19:00.000-07:00

I like pretty things. Faces especially. Some faces you can't remember and other faces, you can't forget. I especially love faces that have eyes that tell truth and reflect love. No words required, despite how beautiful the mouth is, just a look and you know.

I'm happy today made the most beautiful face I know, and at me stares the friend with the most love I've ever received. Yesterday was fun, today is ours, and tomorrow we will still be dancing. Happy Birthday mi abejita.

I want. I decide. Finally, I commit.

2010-07-25T23:42:00.000-07:00

Lucas Samaras

I remember visions of myself as grand and pristine. The further I look back, the larger the dream, but with time my expectations got jaded. I fell short, lost focus and doubted my faculties. There are moments and eyes that make you shift and weaken your balance. Beliefs are tested and vagueness reigns. Your wants become distant and clouded desires.

Then, after an uncomfortable look within, you refuse to be part of the vulgar many. Not motivated by pretensions but by the conviction that the mind is the greatest weapon. You stop preoccupying your mind with futile thoughts and begin to occupy your hands and body with complete actions. Its time.

Ritual De lo Habitual

2010-07-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

To date, my opinion of Colombian fashion has been less than desirable. Talented designers, beautiful fabrics, and intricate work without a doubt. But styles get lost in translation. The general public seems to have a palette for the exotic look-exhibitionist to say the least. However, a fashion samaritan arrives to save the flashing masses.

Colombian native, Esteban Cortazar is a noted fashion designer, loved by the fashion elite. Cortarzar joins with Colombian superstore Exito, to bring a collection that is edgy, solid, and beyond tasteful. Pieces that make statements and a campaign that will elevate the current status quo to higher grounds. Bravo.

Detras de Camara Esteban Cortazar para Exito from Fashion Radicals News on Vimeo.

Esteban Cortazar, Lorenzo Martone, Marc Jacobs, Todd Eberle, Edward Menicheschi

Cortazar and Art Director Jaime Rubiano

Truly creating a ritual from the habitual.

It happened....

2010-07-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

Franceso Clemente, Self-Portrait, 1989

You arrive, look around, there isn't much. You walk down the aisle and spot the weird guy who never gives up, despite your overt rejections. You quickly pass, hoping to go unnoticed. Failed attempt. You glue your eyes to a meaningless spot on the wall, but you appear to be witnessing an epic occurrence.

Focused on nothing-but hoping he doesn't come near-you are surprised when he approaches. Startled even. You greet with a less than authentic grin (I know you've done it). He opens his mouth, his first words make you shiver, no, actually you realize you just gagged. He confesses that he is lacking intimacy and somehow thinks you are the indicated person to share this with. Your eyebrow arches, your nostrils flare, and you let out a deep sigh of annoyance.

You let him finish his train of thought, despite how repugnant he is. How morbid of you. It gets worst. He is restless and after three sentences, he proposes a most disturbing act. Not so much for the act itself -whatever tickles your fancy- but because he is almost a complete stranger. You pretend not to know what pegging is (actually you don't), but you figure to avoid any further conversation you play the dumb blond. You flea as fast as you can, open your browser and realize you were asked to insert something-a member you don't naturally possess-into a hole that is a whole-lot-of-ugly.

Shocked but mostly disturbed, you sit down to write about it. Its the only way to exorcise the feeling.

Monsters

2010-07-13T00:25:00.000-07:00

My fabulous friends and I went to see Lady Gaga. It was insane. I liked her before, but now I like her more. I didn't realize the monster following she has, but now I do.

her boys...

my boys...

And then my battery died. Whatever, you get the picture. Best time ever! Thanks to my little monsters for coming with me: Christian, Jeff, and Don Rob.

Ps: Jeff I promise to never doubt your abilities (from fifth row to floor dancing) you rock.

Why are you so pretty

2010-07-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

If I could ask one thing...

Can I search your closet?

How much fun have you had being So Unusual?

A kiss kiss or bang bang? (too easy)

Lilakoi because of Lenny? That would send me to the moon too.

Anything you say, goes.

What is it about you that diffuses a mystical light?

How do you do it?

Who was your fantasy love? I love plastic too.

(Jaw unable to move)

So What the Fuss? Skeletons? We Didn't know, tell us.

Just wrap me.

If you could turn back time, would you believe in collagen?

Sweetest Taboo?

Why aren't you here?

I thought you knew they were waiting?

Can I party with you?

Just because I love pink

Balance

2010-07-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

This inspired me to fine tune my balance, or whatever it is that sustains my centre of gravity. Yes, I wear high heels for a walk in the park (jodida), but balance isn't my forte. This process begins in the labyrinth-physiologically speaking-but spiritual balance also originates at the elaborate maze within.

In Greek mythology, a labyrinth served to guard the Minotaur (an offspring of beauty and beast). It can be difficult to find stability when your centre has savage tendencies. But to live Zen, your soul needs to be stretched and explored. I am no expert (see picture below); Anna Dello Russo is. I just had a Broken Heel moment.

De la mano?

No other emotion

2010-06-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at Bloor station, I witnessed a most repulsive confrontation. Public transportation can somehow bring about the worst in people; a 40 year-old Caucasian woman started to blast off against an Asian senior lady. The catalyst of the spectacle was apparently a push. (I get pushed all the time, especially at a busy station, big deal, but this isn't about me). The woman accused the senior lady of not possessing any CANADIAN etiquette *she naturally did...eyes rolling.

Stunned by the uproar I was; actually the entire sardine-can-train was. Surprisingly, the old lady stood her ground. At first it was slightly entertaining but then it turned disturbing.

CW: "Go back to your country"
AL: "What? I've been in Canada for 50 years. You go back to your country."
CW: "What's wrong with you people? In Canada we have manners, why don't you understand? GO BACK!"
AL: "This is my country. Stupid (pause) Dumb (pause) Woman!" *at this point her voice was shaky

It all happened so quickly, they both got off at the next station. No one had a chance to gather themselves and say something. It was unreal. With my jaw still open, I saw a young lady with tears rolling down her face. I thought that exemplified more of Canadian-like behaviour.

Bleach Bliss

2010-06-21T23:33:00.000-07:00

How to answer the age-old question, Do Blondes really have more fun?

Having converted into a strong and dedicated practitioner-I can say with complete conviction-it is true. Despite the jokes, stereotypes and the breakage, I love being a bright-highly toxic-bleach head. No-shame-what-so-ever. Don't believe me, see for yourself.

Evidence A,B,C,D,E. Need I say more?

Aurel Schmidt, by Terry Richardson for Purple

girl crush, Agyness Deyn by T.R

Lindsay Lohan (mean girl? still fancy her) by TR

genius TR

Kate Moss & Olivier Zahm

Mary Kate Olsen, by Olivier Zahm

Lady Gaga, by TR for Rolling Stone

Botox for my heart

2010-06-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

Untitled, Jean-Michel Basquiat, 1984

My mind races, this is bullshit. Passing by the memories embedded in my soul with full force, not stopping, but changing the position and meaning of what once was. I try to slow down but not even meditative alternatives clear the sandstorm. What race am I in? Who or what am I challenging? Reality is, this race has no purpose. It wouldn't be such a burden if this speed didn't distort all other dimensions within my being. Where I am trying to end...

They say the fastest possible speed at which energy or information can travel-according to special relativity- is the speed of light: approximately 1079 million kilometers (671 million miles) per hour. You can understand why I'm in such a daze-and confused-my energy level is shot and my heart is losing its child-like vitality.

A friend not long ago said, "Jess you think too much, just learn the simplicity of chilling." I thought I did, but sadly, I have no clue. Sorry Mr. Tower.

Feel free to give me some tips, I've got a wrinkle in my heart.

The Opposite of No

2010-06-21T16:41:00.000-07:00

Graphics by: Nikki Farquharson

Because sometimes my friends say it 10 times better. Thanks Dre. Xo

When everything aches
And you can't see straight
Is it just in your head?
Is your heart dead?

The beat it remains
Singing songs of love's faults
Where were you that day?
Why haven't you called?
You didn't know it was me
But who else could it be

You apologize profusely
See me in the revelry
Your apathetic attitude
Has me seeing double
Of who I thought you used to be
Compared to what you show to me

Uniting once again
Is in the cards for us
Tell me what you think
Tell me that you trust
In your feelings for me

The future of us you see
Your secret life of bees
Let's watch the sun rise
Again from where we sat
And laughed and talked and danced
Drinking in love's dissidence
Bittersweet Symphony
Has all been washed in black
The sound of you next to me
Has always brought me back

The reality truly is
Nothing is nor will ever be
But telling the world otherwise
Battles my apathy

Thank You

2010-06-13T17:35:00.000-07:00

The peace of mind one experiences on one's own, one's certainty of self in the serenity of solitude, are nothing in comparison to the relase and openess and fluency one shares with another, in close companionship-Muriel Barbery

On this very special night, I attended a dinner party. A most gracious host feasted our senses in impeccable style. A group of beautiful women delighted my faculties with their talents, honesty, and laughter.

Jeff, you have a heart of gold and an armoire of platnium. You are one of a kind.
Amor, Gracias.

Is that?

2010-06-13T17:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes it is. Powder blue. I know, you are jealous. I would be too. I got them while I was in Miami; a little souvenir.

Mahi Mahi

2010-06-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

Mahi-mahi are swift and acrobatic game fish with striking colours. Their sides are golden with iridescent greens and blues, and their belly is white and yellow. When these tropical fish get excited they light up- This makes sense.

Everything is the way it should be. As you may know, I recently got back from Miami and a cruise. Words cannot describe the fantasy of a trip I had, but I'll try anyways. Miami and Cozumel are both beautiful and ridiculously entertaining to say the least, but my trip was made by a group of ladies I call my Mahi Mahi crew. The name started off as a joke because that's all we ate. Lunch and dinner, Mahi was the preferred choice. But then it became our go-to word selection.

I decided to look up this tasty and ever so popular fish, and its description fit my ladies all so perfectly. Game fish -we were always in the game 5-0. Striking Colours-just view pictures please. When they get excited they light up-you ladies lit up everywhere we went and you certainly lit up my life. Thank you for the best trip ever. Things happen because they are suppose to happen; make sure to always be present when you are in the midst of magical moments.

Love you, Nalinai, Priti, Daniella, Sophia, Cassandra and Patron

Greetings from Love

2010-06-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

This past week was amazing. I went to Miami and on a cruise to Cozumel, Mexico for the wedding of two of the most beautiful people I know.I came back with the love bug. Truth is, I love the thought of love but my track record isn't that impressive (one exception-koala). Maybe my fault-whatevs- but sadly I have been slightly tainted and boderline incredulous about blissful unions.

However, witnessing two people genuinely in love can change a fool's perception. Not to sound cheesy, but Nalinai and Jeff are two gorgeous human beings.They respect eachother, uplift one another and have committed their hearts and souls before God and their loved ones. All of our friends look up to them and wish to someday be able to share the same kind of love they gave all of us. Made me believe. Love you both and Congrats. XO

Note: thanks to everyone who took pictures ;)

Photo credits: Tara Brolly, Danielle Dziepak, Me

New Age Fashion

2010-06-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

Tabitha Simmons, shoe designer and contributing editor, Vogue

Reading Interview Magazine (one of my favs) I stumbled upon this quote "Fashion has sped up so much due to the internet. I don't understand which race we are all trying to win." Oh Tabitha, such truth you speak of. Lately, everything moves at supersonic speed. Rarely do we take the time to contemplate and enjoy the movement around us. Fashion and love trends are no exception.

I see people changing styles like changing panties (hopefully you understand the frequency of this act). Its so vague and transparent. Very few left with an original sense of expression. I am completely aware that trends come and go-and they are fun- but there has to be a hault when faced with mass dictation of superficiality. Popular demands are soooo last season. Set your own pace and take the time to indulge in your sense of style.

Venus

2010-06-01T01:50:00.000-07:00

Photography by David-Tacho-Sanchez (my lil brother)

Venus-Rita Rebelde

Not that I like to brag-blatant lie-but here is the lastest picture taken by my lucky star. Dave, your ability to percieve things in a way that make most people flinch is captivating. You don't give a damn, and for that I admire you. You have the ability to create beautiful things on your own terms and rhythm. Keep creating. Te amo

I always went to summer school bc of math

2010-05-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

By South Korean Artisit, Minjae Lee

I read today that an aristocrat is a woman who is never sullied by vulgarity, although she maybe surrounded by it . This pierced my thought process. Often enough we value things for its material substance and consider it the paragon of what we desire. Its been embedded like a formula into our minds: (money+social status = power) factor in connections and you dervive the root of social utopia. Multiple that with beauty and your π will de desired by all.

I was never good with math. In fact, I hate it. Funny how we respect things that add no meaning to our existence, creativity or to our sense of humanity. I've seen many apply a similar formula but end up negating their true properties.

Please don't misinterpret me; I'm not condoning self-improvement-I'm all for the hustle. This stems from a girl who barefaced said to me "I don't respect a man who wears a $300 jacket, why isn't at least 700... if he wants me, he better get me a pair of Louboutin's." Flabbergasted by this-I wasn't seeking such vulgar information-I now write my thoughts.

Lets change up the equation for contemplation purposes: we seek those who in face of superficiality can excavate light within. Despite being taught to value numerical properties can treasure the simplest forms, and despite conventional perceptions of vulgarity are always true. Maybe you like dancing on tables topless-maybe you're a wild thing- or perhaps you never leave your house without pepperspray; whatever the case may be, always have your self-love reign and never get stained by the lust we have fostered for vulgar things.

ps: I really want these

Note: If you need a book suggestion, read Muriel Barbery's The Elegance of the Hedgehog. Maybe we can start a book club. seriously. :)

Lady-Lili-Luck

2010-05-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

Strolling down Elizabeth St. in NYC I encountered this character. I'm sorry but I couldn't resist. I had to take a shot. Not just for my personal entertainment (I would be lying if I said I'm not thoroughly amused) but because I thought of you all. I figured you're entitled to share your thoughts on these comical instances.

Here are mine: Nude and lavender are the colours this season. However, in this case I think the look got lost in translation. That said, an outfit like this must bring about some kind of outcome. I think she might have gotten lucky.Kudos to her for not giving (and having) a rats-ass.

Moment of truth...

2010-05-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

Last night I experienced an intense moment of honesty. My most beautiful friend (literally and figuratively speaking) had to tell me something that would affect me. I think he was most concerened about how I would swallow all the shaddiness. Shocked I was. All I can say is that identity crisis's after the age of 28 are just chessy; especially if you involve other people. How else do you accessorize your naked truth of being?

As I sat down to write, I thought I would share more of the shaddiness. But as my fingers type, all I really want to share is how lucky I am to have a friend who is true to himself and true to our friendship.

He has been with me through thick and thin (too thick and too many sticky situations have you help me overcome). Our laughs, dances, moves, tears, complicated situations and even our obsessive compulsive marathons of Intervention watching, have made me fall in love with you in a way that I can only hope you grasp.

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. ~ Mother Teresa

You are genuine, you are extraordinary and I will never get tired of loving you.

Tell the truth

2010-05-15T15:21:00.000-07:00

And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh- Friedrich Nietzsche

Assume hypothetically you lost your voice. For some unthinkable but powerful reason you lost this conventional form of expression. Then what? What do you resort to? How do you communicate what you feel: how badly your heart hurts, how crazy that makes you, how beautifully that feeling elevates you, how lost or how present your mind is?

Would this force you to get creative and explore all your faculties? or would you resign your privelge of expression and let your imagination run dry in the face of despot circumstances?

They say actions speak truth and happiness is the way to be. Always let those you love, know how much you do. Always keep true to yourself and love what you do. Anything can come to fruition if you want it be.

Oh, the places I'll go...

2010-05-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
-Dr. Seus

There are people, places and patterns you encounter in life that are catalyst for change. They say your 20's is a time for self-discovery and change, I agree.

My trip to NYC has been nothing short of amazing. Being here resulted in a shift in my state of mind. Perhaps I sound like the rest of the world when they say New York has that "je ne sais quoi" that makes you MOVE.

Its true. Many factors push you to act quick and go: the sea of cars, waves of people, the homeless chasing after you or the homeboy yelling "yo shorty" three blocks down Fashion Ave. But there is also an energy so strong you can't help but abid and adapt to its fast yet fluid force.

Colors everywhere: on walls, cars, people, streets and all of a sudden in you. A tension pulls you towards the place you want to be. I found that spot and I'm going.

Where are you going?

Just watch

2010-05-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

The Making of the 2010 Pirelli Calendar by Terry Richardson from Rafael Rubira fashion4fun.com.br on Vimeo.

He needs no introduction (in case you don't know Terry Richardson, SHAME ON YOU-to the corner). Needed some sexy up in this place.
Enjoy.

Me Like

2010-05-06T09:44:00.000-07:00

A is for absolutely astonished and in awe for
Being in a state of
Consciousness that
Does not
Exemplify or
Follow my
Girl-like
Hesitations.
In fact,
Jess usually
Keeps
Looking the other way.
Mainly because
No
One
Presents a Pier
Quite like this.
Realizing that I want to
Step on despite the
Tides; Turns Things
Upside down.
Very
Worried,
X-cept
You
Zen things out.

Now you know my ABC,
won't you give me a peanut butter cookie while in NYC?

Out-to-Space

2010-04-29T22:46:00.000-07:00

Nothing says "get well soon" better than a pair of beautiful shoes. After a terrible week of being sick and losing my voice, I got my mojo back. Thank you.

Note: Careful if you come near my orbit. Its my glass slipper.

Shhhh..listen carefully

2010-04-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

These last few months have taught me to always listen carefully to my surroundings. Not just to the things that are said, but especially the things that are not. People will manifest what they want you to extract from them. Sometimes what you discover is blissful, other times it hurts to know the truth (ego hit).

In this case, I can't stop listening. Love you Leo.

El himno - Leo Sonoro by Leo Sonoro

Lions-and-Monkeys-and-Bears Oh MY!

2010-04-25T23:26:00.000-07:00

As you know, I love fantasies and I am a dreamer. As I write, I feel as tho I am waking up. Let me tell you my dream, so I never forget it...

There are these animals. All kinds of them. I am one too. It's a very green and lush place. At first, predictability regins but then we are creatures that know no jungle rules. We play despite what mother nature normally allows. We speak words that can never be spoken and act outside our normal habitat; Taboo's don't belong here.

In my dream, we can do anything and you are exactly what you should be. What's your dream?

I'm going back to bed now. Would like to go back there...

Let Loose

2010-04-24T00:13:00.000-07:00

Billy Nasty & Lucidhouse part 2 from lucidhouse on Vimeo.

I am not a fan of people constantly trying to be too real. I understand being true to you, but then there are those who are so one-dimensional it makes me want to cry. Real life vs. fantasy; why does there have to be such a distinct separation. Why can't it mesh?

It seems to be hard for some to incorporate a mix into their lives. Speaking to someone who is completely opposed/closed to this possibility (or should I say reality) is evident. They tend to be boring and a tad pessimistic. Unable to live with a little fantasy eliminates the opportunity for a new dialogue, a new experience, a new optical to view the world. In my experience, allowing fantasies and my imagination to splatter over this tangible world gives me new stamina.

"But it’s not real Jess?"

What makes something real? Tangibility? I say you have the ability to make a lot of things real or non-existent if you really want to. Don't invalidate something because it’s in your imagination or subconscious. Rather explore it and find a way for it to become part of your expression of being.

Note: thank you to my beautiful friend and very imaginative., Leo who always gives me a beat to let loose to.

Farandula Criolla

2010-04-19T20:37:00.000-07:00

(For all my bilingual readers...enjoy)
Reflujo acido cada vez que el reloj marca hora del noticiero. Aclaremos antes de empezar, esto no es un ataque contra las presentadoras, o bueno, quizas si.

En mi humilde opinion, es inaceptable que un segmento a nivel nacional e internacional se atreva a exibihir semejante burradas. La verdad no encuentro una mejor palabra para describir las desatinadas elecciones de las presentatdoras. Culpa de quien? No se, la verdad no me importa. El hecho es que ellas permiten que las hagan quedar en ridiculo.

Un segmento que me entretiene demasiado es Estilo. Sale la presentadora y describi su vestuario de pies a cabeza, aumentando mi nivel de diversion y pena ajena.

Observar evidencia A: No se ni por donde empezar. Es una de las instancias de mi vida que observo una contradiccion tan absurdamente obvia: Estilo y botas-BLANCAS-puntudas con su respectiva arrogoya en la misma escena (Respire profundo). El vestido de satin de prostituta barata al lado del vestido de abuela? La verdad, no puedo con esto.

Evidencia B: Por amor a Dior, nunca repitan esta aborracion. Cualquier prenda que refleje un plastico metalico es un desacierto. Eviten semajente payasada. Segundo, faldas de jean, SUPERENLAS. Mejor esculquele a su novio/hermano/tio/papa/amigo un par de shorts.

Evidencia C: No se como explicar lo grave que es este estilo de blusa. Intentemos igual. Prendedores, conchas, piedras, diamantes,diamanticos, perlitas, grandes, chiquitas, brillantes y/u opacas utilizadas en una blusa es un crimen. Accesorios son necesarios, pero deben de ser integrados por uno mismo. Este look me susurra uno de mis mas grandes miedos: falta de expression y estilo. No lo haga.

La triste verdad es que podria seguir exponiendo evidencia de la tragedias que suceden cada dia a varias horas. Estoy exhausta. Estilo no se trata de algo prefabricado, ni mucho menos exhibiciones vulgares. Se trata de una expression intima de su esencia como persona de una manera autentica y genuina. Siempre imponiendo su propio estilo y tendencies, y no copiando ni siguiendolas.

Por ahora me despido. Piense en lo que te vayas a poner, pero no tanto, solo un poquito.

Heart Replacement

2010-04-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

HEARTS CROSSED//

I'd rather have these. Lately my heart hasn't been functioning properly,I think these would be a better fit.

Note: this might be an abusion, but whatevs....Love them.

No matter how hard I try...

2010-04-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

#Confession

I was creepin...on Facebook...so ashamed* Shaking head. Tiss-tiss.
Whatever, no one can judge me cause we ALL do it.

Oh curiosity, you're a bitch. You lead me to findings that are unnecessary and torment my soul.

A close friend got tagged in a picture. Naturally, I looked at it. Then, I proceeded to view the rest of the album. Turns out the album had an individual, who was related to another character, that lived with the sister, of a monster (bare with me). One click, two clicks, three clicks and I'm back 3 years ago. OMG, almost fell off my chair. Breathe.

As soon as I saw that first individual I knew. I knew I was going down the wrong path and it would ruin my day. It did. Why would I do that? Seriously. Dumbest.Thing.Ever.

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. It has been useful and I really do keep connected. But it is also the main stage for infamous HORROR stories. I know everyone has one. The point of this blog is really nothing, more or less a vent. Five years later and FB still manages to kick me in the ass.

Full Circle

2010-04-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

I admit, I really want the Blue Diamond print dress (saw a similar one downtown-won't say where unitl it's hanging in my closet), but the upscale vintage ambiance doesn't really appetize me. The essence of vintage shopping is deluded. However, can't hate on them for making a buck.

VIMBY - What Comes Around Goes Around

crushin

2010-04-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Not one to have girl crushes (besides Agnyess Deyn of course), but in this case, how can I not? Have always had an obsession with Japanese everything; this is my icing.

This tickled my fancy. A lot. Old Nike tee with glow-in-the-dark Thriller faces painted on (sorry for the pole, you get the idea). I want it. Will send the message in a bottle; so much more fun that way. Maybe I'll get it. :)

Say what you will but I love these. I will get them and I will rock them. So there. Ashish Buckle Woven Wedges.

And just because it wouldn't be complete without her...

About you

2010-04-11T23:27:00.000-07:00

Just in case I wasn't clear enough.
Always in our hearts.

Sit.Wait.Live

2010-04-11T22:26:00.000-07:00

A post like this one scares me because of its specificity. A moment, a place, a look, a feeling. Say such things are real enough to transform your life; then what? Do you abide or do you hide?

Some yell "RUN". Others whisper "careful". You might say "enjoy". I say nothing. The truth is that its all inside. The way I feel, its real and when expression is expected, it doesn't matter because its already known. This is my second conviction. I had a sign, a confirmation if you will and now I'm at ease.

Perhaps this might not make sense to you, but the intended eyes will decipher its meaning. Until then, I wait.

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope"-Alexandre Dumas Père

Positively Defining

2010-04-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

Complete conviction: a rare occurance, but when it occurs, you know. Lately, I have had about two of these feelings. One of which will not be shared until there is a confirmation, the second I will disclose.

On the weekend I went to New York with my beautiful friends. We had a blast. Obviii, its NYC. What is it about that town (loose term) that captivates you entirely? Not sure, but what I am sure of is that I got to make my way down there.

Our trip was amazing. Not only because my friends are the best and NYC is the best playground, but because it defied so many elements. Can't really get into all the elements that we transgressed; might get myself in a wheee bit of trouble (insert giggle). My girl said "I won't be able to explain to my friends about this trip. How would I start?" Oh D, so true, so true.

What can be said is the conviction of knowing who you are, what you want and how you are going to go about getting it. The three of us at one point realized the importance of invoking our passions and desires. Telling the universe what is yours and finding your entitled place amoungst this crazy place.

theme song? maybe.

Best.Trip.Ever
Xo

Lost in female captivity

2010-04-06T22:24:00.000-07:00

My mind keeps playing tricks on me. At times it feels as tho I'm imagining things: people, places, events, touches...Could it be? No. Maybe? Shit. I hate this feeling. It has overpowered all of my thinking processes (all two of them). What is going on? change of frequencies perhaps. This is NOT like me.

On the weekend, I went to NYC (will share all about it later). Talking to my girls, I realized how much pressure we put on ourselves. For what? As if I need extra. I love being a girl but this over-thinking-analyzing-self-loathing crap can be eliminated. Do boys over think things like this? I doubt it. This is way too complicated for no good reason.

Love being a girl, except for right now. What ever happened to girl bands that fueled girl power? Actually, lets leave those in the past. Will listen to Gwen Stefani instead.

#ScatterBrain

Patio Lovin

2010-04-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

Sun is shinning, sangria's are stunning and my friends are happy. The first patio outing always makes my life a little better.

Sale el sol y todo se transforma. Se derrite todo lo que nos intenta opacar y guardar. Llega la hora. Ven a jugar.

Photos: Lauren Poon

A Rule of Thumb

2010-03-31T22:46:00.000-07:00

A closet will always let out its secrets...In this case, only the good kind.

Beauty's a Bitch

2010-03-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

Beauty can be morbid. Its all about perception. Fixated on a ideal can torment your soul and existence.

I have this joke with a friend, a really bad joke, about going on a less than healthy-hazardous-diet. I must confess we laugh about it all the time, but deep down inside we kinda wish we had the will power to deprive ourselves with the goal of looking like this ideal (see model above).

Recently, someone over heard our conversation, judged us and looked at us with a serious evil eye. Now, this might be an attempt to rid myself of any guilt and condemnation but come to think of it, my obsession with an accepted notion of beauty is banal.

This is my confession, hopefully I can surpass this. Feel free to elighten me with a deeper sense of beauty. For now, I'm gonna go watch America's Next Top Model.

Chained to the earth

2010-03-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

When the superficial wearies me, it wearies me so much that I need an abyss in order to rest. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943

Earth hour. Just me, a candle and my thoughts. No distractions, except my own mind (fml). Enjoying this dark and solitude hour, more than I had expected. There should be more hours like this. Forced reflection while preserving the place I barely consider.

New ritual? I think so.

Breath, tap your third eye & relax

2010-03-23T12:06:00.000-07:00

Looking back, I feel like I just slapped on my neon wrist band, watched the Mickey Mouse Club and listened to Alanis Morisette. Oh where have the days gone? seriously? Time flies without any discretion and belittling everything in its way.

Trying to understand the concept of time baffels my mind. An attempt to grasp this notion gives me vertigo. I am 26, going on 27 and I feel like I haven't accomplished enough.Time is going by way too fast. Oh my, starting to panic. Lately I have been forced to think of my life. My productivity level, friends, family, love and everything in between.

Despite my anxiety, I discovered that I'm in a good place. Sure I am in the process of building my career, but its moving. I have a loving family, great friends and have made amazing new friends. So sure, I might be undergoing a stressful period. But it will pass. I have all these great loves to help me get by.

Dear Mamachila...

2010-03-14T23:19:00.000-07:00

Dear mamchila,

These are some of the things I learned from you.

1. Red lips and red nails are an everyday thing.

2. Never leave the house without a pair of high heels. You never know who you might want to look at straight in the eye.

3. Fall is the best season to discover new shades; both inner and outter.

4. Before telling anyone anything about yourself, write it down. Birds eye view is best for contemplation.

5. Jewelry is better than most things.

6. A person's aroma will tell you what you need to know.

7. Love is for those who give love. Never stop loving.

Will never stop loving you.

Love, Me.

Lost of Meaning

2010-03-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

A friend got her heart broken. Bad. Not "Oh, give me a week or 3 and I'll be back" type of heartache. No, no. More like "God give me strength. In fact God, steal it from someone (preferbaly him) and give it to me" type of ache. You might know what I'm refering to. Hopefully you don't.

Sadness inundates and unable to see other realms of life, all meaning is lost. We place so much meaning on one aspect of life and invalidate the rest. We compare and everything else is meaningless. What does it mean to have meaning? Is there only one type of meaning? Sorry if this sounds depressing, I mean, it is. So exhausting.

Unable to give her a potion to relieve her sorrow, I restored to the next best thing. A bar. I skipped class and now my head hurts. I dedicate this post to her, so she knows how much I love her. To all who are sad, embrace it. That way you can loose meaning of the situation sooner than later. I mean, things loose meaning when compared to other things. Know what I mean?

Note: today is a meaningless day

From digital to IRL

2010-03-10T07:14:00.000-08:00

Personal brand this, personal brand that. Repeatedly I hear, "You got to BRAND yourself." So how do you brand yourself without succombing to self mutilation? Well, what you really want is a digital mark. Only to be achieved by involvment with diverse digital communities.

Ok, but whats the deal with this world of digital communities? Sometimes I feel like I'm in a twilight zone, living in a world concocted by a geek-wizard finally taking revenge after years of IRL bullying. Who's petrified now? *Insert evil laugh

Really, who makes up these communities? Who's the gate keeper to all this chaos? I guess the intangible aspect of it has thrown me off (complemented by unorganized thought). That is until my fairy blog mother invited me to a #genyto event last friday.

Bottle in hand, I ventured off to this IRL experience with my partner-in-crime. Yes we were a little hesitant at first but than it was nothing but good times.

What I learned is that digital communities are as real as flesh and bones. They breathe, drink, type and drink some more, just like me. What is required is initiative to get out there and explore. They're out there and its a stelar way to meet cool peeps who share common interests. Just another way to expand your network and increase your profile.

[Actually, what I really learned is that you can see males playing with their parts in mexican wrestling masks approximately every 25 minutes. HA, you want a community try this bad boy out.]

Wonderland

2010-03-08T09:25:00.000-08:00

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? "-Alice

Champagne, pâté, smiles and a D.J.
A world of my own.... with Johnny Depp.

I AM CANADIAN- Wish you were here

2010-02-28T23:16:00.000-08:00

After bitting my nails while watching the Canada-US hockey game, I went to celebrate. Sure, we Canadians are friendly, happy-go-lucky types, but today I felt the love for real.

Naked men on the streets, Molson all around, hockey playing on dundas, high fives and naked men....this was a night to remember.

GO CANADA GO!!!!!

Just Gotta be Me

2010-02-23T20:43:00.000-08:00

'Develop your personal brand' was the phrase of the day. That's all I heard. Not going to lie, but for the last couple of months this subject makes me twitch. The magnitude of the digital world is perplexing and makes me sweat. How am I going to stand out? Make a digital foot print? huh?

Today at Personal Brand Camp and Third Tuesdays I got my answer: Be yourself. Thats it.

As simply put by Mitch Joel "Be real." Showcase your expertise and your passion. This will allow you to transition through life and maintain your personal brand. That made me feel zen, but then I got a real life example.

The coolest girl on the block, Cassie Stewart. Fun, energetic but most of all real. This awesome platinum-hair chick has blogged her way to her a stellar place. Naturally, as soon as I saw the platinum hair I liked her. But she has an authenticity about her that drew all the girls towards her. Thats what I call a personal brand. Be real and people will follow.

I'm excited I got a Fairy Blogg Mother.

Work to the Bone

2010-02-10T08:22:00.000-08:00

If I won the lottery I would... ( transported myself to a luxurious and exotic world with endless possibilities).

BANG*

Damn... I'm back. Wait, I don't even play the lottery.
I opened my eyes and realized that my only possibility is to finish the piles of work mounted in front of me. So I carry on to do what I do best: work.

I must of inherited it from my father, a relentless workaholic. Honestly, at several points in my life I resented the numerous abscences from birthdays and family sundays. But now, I get it.

Today to my surprise, Pras from the Fugees came to speak at my school . The core of his message: work diligently, in a disciplined manner and never stop. The result, one of the best Hip-Hop albums: The Score (amoungst many other accomplishments).

By 4pm I was sitting at a coffee shop working on a upcoming project when I see a great friend/photographer. We drank blueberry tea, laughed about our trips and than we started to talk about, whatelse,WORK.

Past work, current work, potential work and more work. Before we parted he quotes Pablo Picasso, "If inspiration exists, let it come to me while I work". Anything I want, I can get. Anything I imagine, I can make a reality. Anything I desire is mine, I just can't stop working.

Jessica at work= creatively employing my passions despite any blocks

*really loud noise

Food for Words

2010-02-06T20:26:00.000-08:00

There are times when only a chocolate bar, preferably Bounty or Chocolatina Jet (Colombian bar) can make all things better. These times unfortunately, are quite frequent in my agenda. I know for a fact that I am not the only one with this shortcoming, I've seen it on Oprah. In fact, I can recall watching more than one episode on Oprah about emotional eating. If Oprah says so, this is a problem.

Actually, this is a huge problem. Emotional eaters plus a hungry unregulated fast-food industry, ICKES! I went to Orlando a while back and I was astounded by the amount of food constantly thrown in your face: "Buy 1 large pizza and get 3 for FREE (plus 2 litre pop)". Dangerous? Well, have you watched Half Ton Teen? Enough said.

Just remembering all the food makes my insides turn. And than the words of Winston Churchill come to mind, "Eating words has never given me indigestion". This struck me in the core.Say good-bye to that horrible feeling after eating a greasy combo. Instead, when the urge strikes indulge in an enlightening book. Imagine if we became 'knowledge obese'?

I for one am going to substitute food for words.

WARNING: For the record I am not promoting any sort of eating disorder.

A Bad 'Situation'

2010-02-01T13:26:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I stayed home, munched on plantain chips and watched T.V. To be completely honest, this is not something I do frequently, but I wanted to be entertained in a way which required no effort on my behalf. Surfing vigorously through channels I stopped at Jersey Shore (sigh). Granted I laughed but then I started to question myself and my generation. This show has officially become a pop culture phenomenon, consumed by everyone and making big profits for MTV.

Here is my issue: this show with all of its crazy characters, scenarios and jargon has been able to create memes. Disturbing enough, young minds are reproducing them and adapting them as the way or ‘the situation’ to be in. I realize that our culture is no longer dictated by conservative views, but I am slightly appalled by the glittery ability this show has shocked pop culture.

Perhaps I wouldn’t have such a problem with the show if it did not have the power to influence and inundate everything. Every channel, every show, everyone is captivated by fist-pumping, beat-dancing, hair-gel using, Guido/Guidette behaviour. Clearly all of this is subject to interpretation. I for one always thought the term Guido was derogatory. I suppose Jersey Shore’s interpretation has changed this and converted it to a complimentary term, “a good looking Italian guy.” This is the power, ideas and imagery prevailing in our entertainment. I can only hope that this does not encourage a trend of spin off shows. Fingers crossed.

The REAL Situation (Feat. MTV Jersey Shore's The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D) - watch more funny videos

Want it? Ask for it

2010-01-27T17:08:00.000-08:00

My close friend blurted to me not to long ago, "You dont get what you don't ask for."

To be completely honest this blew my mind. Perhaps because of my conditioning as a woman or as a woman conditioned by a very conservative grandmother, I always assumed that my actions and gestures would decipher my needs and wants. In turn, this would somehow translate into all channels of communication and my needs would be fulfilled. Utopian I know.

I look back and I remember this sort of charades. For example, I recall boy girl interaction as; if boy hits you this means he likes you. If girl likes boy, she would ignore him. What was commmunicated did not match what was wanted. This sort of attitude carried over to other sectors and stages of my life. Always masking what I truly wanted with something else, never being clear with myself or others. Had I truly grasped this simple principle, perhaps some scenarios would have played out differently.

However, what matters is what I do with this valuable principle now. Certainly I can apply it to everyday life. I need an explaniation, I ask for it. No more hoping that magically I will understand an issue thats perplexing. More importantly, I will ask myself what I want for my future. How do you (Jess) want people to remember you as? How will I develop me?

Perhaps this is something that I face alone, but it feels better to vocalize what I want, because than it will be put out into the universe, leaving me no choice but to find a way to get it.

Community in Crisis

2010-01-24T17:05:00.000-08:00

In 2008, The Latin American Research, Education and Development (LARED) of OISE/UT, had a call for submissions about a problem effecting latino youth. Being of Colombian background this topic was close to my heart; 4 out of every 10 Latino youths drop out from Toronto public schools. Something is wrong with this picture. I submitted by opinion piece, it got chosen and is now published in a book called, Four in Ten: Spanish-Speaking Youth and School Drop out in Toronto. To read all other articles published click here.

This is what I had to say...

The diversity one can encounter exploring the city of Toronto is an enlightening privilege.The degree of multiculturalism is unique and rarely found elsewhere than in Torontoniansocial dynamics. It is a composition of multiple backgrounds and communities joined together to form a mosaic of colourful cultures that give life to this grand city. Throughout the year various cultural demonstrations take place; exhibiting their heritage, art, cuisine,beliefs, ancestry and overall expressing their story as a community.

These communities, who now find a home in Toronto, take a stand integrating themselvesinto their new society in an effective manner: socially, politically and economically but still preserving and maintaining a unity amongst its members. Unfortunately, the Latin American Community in Toronto fails to provide a strong, organized and influential presence in this mosaic. Our community lacks a strong foundation and unity which is imperative for not only survival but for evolution, growth and the opportunity to make a positive impact upon theminds of our future generations. This missing element instigates division amongst our own kind, debilitating the community as a whole.

A study led by Robert Brown et al. for the Toronto District School Board (TDSB) that was published in 2006 reveals that approximately 20% of students who enter grade 9 do not complete their schooling. Furthermore, 40% of Spanish speaking students drop out and remain without a high school diploma. The doubling in numbers amongst Latina/o youth cannot be ignored and certainly cannot be viewed as coincidental. Instead it should be taken as an indication that the problem does not lie within the youth, but rather in the community as a whole.

The drop out rate almost twice the average among Latina/o students is a direct
sign of lack of strength, unity, and structure within the Latino community in Toronto. The deficiency of unity amongst Latinas/os has impaired the educational advancement of this rapidly growing community. The main debilitating factor is that, as a community, we focus on marking the differences between our diverse nationalities; Mexicans vs. Colombians, Peruvians vs. Salvadorians, Ecuadorians vs. Bolivians, etc, and ignore the problem our youth face currently. It is imperative that we eradicate these nationalistic notions which rather than unifying and building our community within the Canadian mosaic, instead promote division within our own community. Our presence cannot be blurred or tainted, for as a community we have much to offer.

The continuation of weakened ties among community members, will simply fortify the
already existing stereotypes of Latinos. North American portrayal of Latinas/os is disturbing and heart breaking, the endless representation as gardeners, maids, pool boys, drug dealers and gangsters needs to be overcome. This cannot continue to be the image that we abide by in our newfound home. Failing to contest these social constructs indicates passively that we validate them as our identity, which in turn will augment the drop out rates of Latino youths.The message delivered to Latino/a youth by this passivity is the toleration, acceptance and promotion of mediocrity, conformity and failure.

The high dropout rate among Latina/o students is a community crisis that has overtaken and contributed to the unacceptable number of Latino high school dropouts. Our younger generation admires the wrong models of Latinas/os, and as a community we are responsible for changing this. Perhaps providing an immediate counter for all the misconceived and erroneous representations of Latinos worldwide is a vast task to undertake, but locally it is urgent that we stand up and make an impact.

The fragile state of the Latino community in Toronto is taking a toll on future development. Resources, role models, programs, motivation, mentorship program, guidelines and cultural pride are pivotal for the growth, productivity and increasing accomplishment of Latina/o youth. The logic behind strengthening a community in crisis is the trickle down effect it will have. As a united people it will embed within each individual the necessity to build upon a community identity, which calls for a strong and stimulated mind, so that it in turn the individual can contribute to the whole.

Ultimately, this will make a positive impact among the mosaic of cultures that exist in Canada. A stimulated and creative mind can only be achieved through education and the unified community will be the model that will provide resources and nurture this
development. Youths in turn, will have access to an identity that can be adapted and utilized to advance as individuals. The ties between all Latinas/os, from every nationality must be notably strong, incapacitating the entrance of division, negativity and conformity. In the end advancing together as one while marking our presence in the city of Toronto will minimize the severity of our young people’s current state of educational failure.

Fear Anyone?

2010-01-19T01:13:00.000-08:00

I lay in bed, forcing myself to sleep but I am failing miserably. I have an early class tomorrow and all I can think about is how am I ever going to create a personal brand? Needless to say, I am overwhlemed.

I am a Public Relations post grad student at Humber. And for our Social and Digital Media class this is one of our projects. Develop a Personal Brand, a persona with presence and potential influence in your niche of choice. Don't get me wrong, I love this concept but the more I analyze the task at hand, the more I start to toss and turn; I even get a little nauseated. I dont think I speak for myself, but Social Media, as valuable as it is (no plans of contesting that), can be a tad overwhelming. I attribute this fear to the magnitude of it all. I mean, were not talkig about developing a profile and space to share with your friends (aka Facebook), but a space that can transcend the comfortable realm of what I call my life/world and enter into the limitless digital world. There are a couple of factors that hit the "OMG" status.

First, how to set myself apart? Second, how to say something that people will be interested in and actually read? Third and most importantly, how to withstand and create a mark? a digital footprint if you will. In the attempt to digest it all, the notion is: create, obtain and maintain. I dont know why this seems so overwhelming, perhaps I stand solo (I hope not, and if I'm not, let me know!) but I am not going to shy away. One could say I am going to do this because if not I would fail Michael Cayley's class, not good. But in reality, I am going to do this because this is the age of social media and it belongs to my generation.

Jack Trout in his best selling book, "Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind", tackles the idea of the how to position a brand beyond the traditional forms of marketing; "an organized system for finding a window in the mind. It is based on the concept that communication can only take place at the right time and under the right circumstances" (p. 19 of 2001 paperback edition).
http://bit.ly/ILlAi

While reading this quote (I intend on reading the entire book), I felt a sense of relief. I felt as though I saw a speck of light in the midst of this daunting mission. Communication at the right time and under tthe right circumstances is simply now. A time where I surround myself with fellow peers that posses the same fears and hopes and all under the same strive to learn and develop. It is our time to explore and certainly make plenty of mistakes, but we are in it together. I believe it is natural to have fears, and this is one, but it is part of my natural composition to be able to confront them.